In tribute to the lovable and unembarrassed Al Sharpton, and his new battle cry, “Resist we much!” (what? … too soon?), I give you this review of David Kahane’s Rules for Radical Conservatives (RFRC). No matter who you are, if you read this book, you’ll be a better person. Now, let’s explore why.
This book is not what you might think it is. The title may suggest that it’s a book of organizational lists, and guidelines on how to use Facebook as effectively as the White House does. Two-inch-thick lists of social media tips and talking-points have their place, but many of us have already read about forty-three of these, and number forty-four is just going to have to wait. As helpful as those 3 lb. working outlines can sometimes be, they’re not always the best use of one’s limited time. Incidentally, if you haven’t read at least one of those, you probably should, but after two or three, the overkill point stands. Conversely, despite the ring of its title, RFRC is not a long list of rules and tips at all. It’s different. You should read this book.
Surely by design, the tone of RFRC closely emulates that of its evil twin, Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals (which you should also read sometime). Like Alinsky’s book, the tenor of RFRC is a bit raw and meandering at times, but this imitation of authentic leftist writing generates a subtle wittiness. The humor is not found in punch lines, but rather in the author’s overall attitude, and revealing thought patterns. So you see, it contains some clever humor, but you need to keep an eye out for it (sort of like watching a good mockumentary). If you have a free moment, read this book.
Consider the customary makeup of genuine leftist text: breathless nattering designed to impress the reader with enough psycho babble and long-winded explanations of simple concepts to convince the audience that the author is an avant-garde visionary. Kahane’s writing hits this nail on the head with a big yellow hammer, but to an end we can all appreciate. Incidentally, don’t let the words “nattering” and “long-winded” scare you off. It is precisely this drawing of a left-wing caricature that allows the author to dig deep and produce an inspired analysis of the American left. I recommend you read this book.
Throughout RFRC, Kahane, the privileged, red diaper spawn of snobby, Upper West Side communists, maintains the smug, erudite attitude that we have come to expect from our Progressive betters. The part that makes this fun and refreshing is the fact that he proudly boasts of his condescending attitude, and precisely, almost profoundly, explains the psychology behind it. What’s more (much more), is that Kahane tells us in very specific terms all about us—Conservatives. This is some second-hand navel gazing that is long overdue. By now, it should be clear that if our helpful enemy, Kahane, didn’t handle this frank analysis, it was never going to happen. This is where the message of the book really begins to settle in. You may think you’ve done the proper sort of inner-searching, but wait until you get a load of this.
One point that should be made at this juncture of the book review is that you should really read this book.
Just as one would expect, Kahane’s almost suspect honesty does eventually heighten to its anticipated peak, and it delivers big. As though sodium-pentothal were involved, he spills the pointed truth about the left’s weakness, and how they can be defeated. Hint: they’re weaker than you think, they know it, and they’re on their shaky knees praying to Gaia that you don’t notice. In fact, an overused reference to The Wizard of Oz would be well-placed here—but let’s leave it out. Basically, overcoming the left won’t be as difficult as you might think, as long as you’re willing to dip your feet into the same mud pit they leach around in. Double-hint: the future is a true release from the left-handed stranglehold—should you just grow some . . . well . . . they come in pairs. Read the book.
If you’re not willing to get a little muddy, that’s OK. You can just start stockpiling food, ammo, and TP in preparation for the confiscation of the food, ammo, and TP that you’ve illegally stockpiled. You could also write a few paragraphs about how great America used to be when Americans were free, and then hide the paper under the insulation in the attic—you know—for your grandkids. Have you ordered the book yet? If not, get to it, and then start reading.
You’re probably following quite well the generalities mentioned in the above paragraphs, but are these spoilers? Having read this review, can you now simply skip the book? No! The little insinuations left for you here are nothing. You know nothing until you’ve read the book; all 279 pages (which has an epic ending by the way). In fact, if you read the book, you will be more attractive, have a quicker wit, a stronger heart, and your feet will never get cold. You will learn from this book. More specifically, you will learn things you need to know from this book! Have I mentioned yet that you should read this book?
We’ll this now! We’ll this right! We’ll this win! Good God Almighty, We’ll this book!